On the topic of Surrendering to Work

So I've just returned from a vacation that has brought me to an epiphany that I believe has been building up in me for a good three months now, and has finally come to fruition. (Thank goodness!) The key word for my post today is RESISTANCE. And this word has literally been the cause to all my recent sufferings, which although minute, felt pretty unbearable at times. These past few months (ever since Christmas Break really) I've been experiencing this huge resistance to my schoolwork. Now, don't misunderstand me, there has been a lot of it. I began the semester with four English classes and one Sociology Capstone, which adds up to a whole heck of a lot of reading. I'm probably reading a novel a week in addition to my textbook reading, and all the while having to journal about much of it to get credit for it. It's a grueling process for me, and one that has been made all the more so due to my resistance to it. Every step of the way has felt like such a stretch, like literally having to wrench the effort out of myself in order to accomplish anything. Needless to say after a few months of this, I was desperately needing a break; time to re-gather my girth. So my boyfriend and I, spur of the moment, planned a vacation during my Spring Break that we both hoped would lift my spirits (and his I guessJ).

Well, the vacation couldn't have been more beautiful. Although unusually cold (but not really to our standards), our destination, the Island of Kauai, nicknamed the Garden Isle, proved to be basically what it promised. The scenery was spectacular, the fruit was delicious, and we had some amazing meals at little hole-in-the-wall restaurants that we often discovered just by default. The island was small and largely undeveloped, which made searching for particular places somewhat difficult sometimes. If we were expecting a nice restaurant we would have been very disappointed. But lucky for us, we're both adventurous eaters. So we settled for local favorites, which turned out to be delicious. If you've never tried a good bowl of Saimen or some Loco Moco, I suggest you do so at the soonest opportunity. Am I going off subject?

So anyway, after a week in paradise, without much to gripe about, I was driving back to Arizona this morning, and feeling rather down because although I has just had a good week-long romp in the Islands, I was feeling no closer to overcoming my current discomforts. Can you believe it? Even beaches and water and fish and beautiful flowers and good food couldn't cure me. So, as is customary with me when I'm on a long drive, I popped in a spiritually based lecture series by David Hawkins. Dr. Hawkins is a man whose lectures I used to frequent down in Sedona, and who I find particularly inspiring. In this lecture, one from December 2002, he brought up the topic of work. And what he said, although I can't quote it verbatim, truly spoke to me. I'll do my best to explain it. What he said was that it's important for individuals on a spiritual path, or just in everyday life, to have a certain reverence for life, and what it encompasses; work, for example. He said that there are many people who show their reverence for life by surrendering to hard work. If you surrender to life, and to work, and stop resisting it, it can be quite fulfilling.

As simple as this advice was, it was exactly what I needed to hear because it's exactly the opposite of where my head has been these past few months. When I heard this, I immediately felt a shift inside myself. Rather than my inner being remaining back in Utah, or Kauai as it had been, it now feels as though my being is becoming more fully present here in Arizona. Just upon hearing this statement, my resistance to my work has, at least in this moment, very close to disappeared, and it feels very relieving. I feel light, and as though furthering my work here could be almost effortless if I surrender it to God. What a lovely thing to feel in this moment; very little resistance, and a large amount of release. I guess the Garden Isle wasn't the answer to my problems, although it did make for some good photos....

And there are certainly more to come soon....